:: blonde coldplay fan ::

Cool In The Pool

2012-02-08T10:49:00.000-08:00

In an attempt to make ourselves at least feel like it's summer, Thomas and Isabelle have been spending a lot of time at the swimming pool. Already natural born swimmers, the children are improving their talent by taking swimming lessons! They are both in level 4 ~ pros! Thomas is the youngest swimmer in the class, but he can do everything the big kids can do!

I'm pretty confident that if my children were able to morph into sea creatures, Isabelle would immediately become a mermaid and Thomas would turn into Nemo.

They both LOVE the water!!

The highlight of swimming lessons is Thomas and Isabelle get to wear the cool new swim goggles that Grandma and Grandpa {my mom and dad} bought for them. Pink for Isabelle {or course!} and clear for Thomas.

What's also exciting is that after swim lessons Thomas and Isabelle get to stay for open swim when the waves are turned on and the giant inflatable obstacle course is brought out!

Isabelle & Thomas are so very

"cool in the pool!"

Double the Birthday Fun!

2012-01-29T10:21:00.001-08:00

{Isabelle & Aunt Stephanie ~ TWINS!!}

THE BEST part of Isabelle and Aunt Stephanie having "twin" birthdays is that on our designated day of celebration we have double the cupcakes, double the birthday presents, and double the fun!

Today Thomas, Isabelle and I had Sunday {birthday!} dinner at my mom and dad's house to celebrate Isabelle and Stephanie's special day. We had oriental chicken, red potatoes, green beans, broccoli salad AND confetti birthday cupcakes made by super-chef Stacie.

For Thomas, the cupcakes were the best part of Sunday dinner!

{Isabelle. Aunt Stephanie. Uncle Alan}

{Thomas & Aunt Sarah}

BARBIE CLOTHES! THE FANCY DRESSES KIND!

Do birthday presents get any more exciting than this?

No!!

For Stephanie's birthday she got a wooden case to display all her thimbles in. Since forever, Stephanie has been collecting thimbles from all around the world. She has quite an extensive collection, and now she will have a beautiful way to display them!

{Thomas & Indiana Bones}

{Stacie with Indy, her true love}

Sorry you had to find out this way Patrick...

{Stacie. Indy. Stephanie. Sarah. Me}

I love my sisters!

{And I love Indiana Bones too}

Today was a fun night of birthday celebrating for Isabelle and Stephanie! It's so special that Isabelle shares her birthday with her favorite aunt!

Happy Double Birthdays Izzie and Stephanie!!

???

2012-01-27T09:42:00.001-08:00

WHO loves princesses, the color pink, mermaids, swimming, sewing, Chinese food, movies and Lagoon??

I don't know!!

Could it be... ISABELLE???

{Isabelle's pink poster all about her!}

This week at school Isabelle was Mystery Student, and today she was in the SPOTLIGHT! It was so fun for Isabelle's friends to learn all about Izzie!

{Isabelle sharing her poster with the class}

Isabelle is such a talented, creative and interesting little girl!

Cupcake Time!

2012-01-24T14:32:00.000-08:00

{Birthday Cupcakes}

Today Isabelle turned 7 years old.

I HAVE A 7 YEAR OLD.

Happy Birthday Isabelle!!

This afternoon Thomas and I brought in birthday cupcakes for Isabelle's class at school. With double-frosting, they were pretty yummy.

{Thomas & Isabelle with school friends}

At 7 years old, Isabelle loves:

sewing
swimming
art
mermaids
princesses
Chinese food
Barbies
American Girl dolls
dressing up
make-up
painting nails
dance
the color pink!

We love you Isabelle!

Happy Happy Birthday!

You are the sweetest little daughter in the world!

We love celebrating YOU!!!

Going to the Grocery Store!

2012-01-23T13:44:00.000-08:00

{Thomas ~ in the white shirt on the right}

Today Thomas' preschool class went on a field trip to the grocery store. We went to Bowman's in Kaysville.

A tour of the bakery ~ getting a cookie and watching the bread get sliced, seeing the meat department, going inside the big refrigerators and freezers, and seeing how the produce is kept was all so fun!

Thomas learned so much on his field trip to Bowman's! Now that he's been an "insider" at the grocery store, he will never look at our shopping excursions the same!

{In the bakery getting a cookie}

{Lots of bread!}

:: Such a fun way to start off the week! ::

Sparky

2012-01-22T19:00:00.000-08:00

We've had a visitor in our home!

His name is Sparky. Sparky the dog. Sparky is from Thomas' preschool. For a few days, we had Sparky along for all of our family's adventures. We did all sorts of fun things with Sparky for Thomas to share with his preschool class!

Sparky came with us to get slushies from Sonic, he played trains and dinosaurs with Thomas, and he rode with us in the car to the grocery store, library, and on all our other errands.

We've had too much fun with Sparky, and we can't wait for him to come back for another visit!!

{Thomas & Sparky ~ best buddies!}

:: Bye-bye for now Sparky, we'll miss you! Thank-you for being our guest! ::

Happy Birthday Bryan!!

2012-01-19T23:50:00.000-08:00

{Bryan's birthday cupcake}

Today is My Bryan's Birthday.

He would have been 40 today.

Happy Birthday Bryan!!

Tonight we celebrated Bryan's birthday at his favorite restaurant, Market Street Grill. Bryan loved Market Street! He loved the king crab. He loved taking me there too. For a while we were going there for dinner once a week. He never got tired of it.

{You didn't hear me complaining either...}

Market Street was definitely an appropriate place to celebrate and remember Bryan today!

{Lily. Emily. Bella. SuzAnn. Tom. Me}

As I think back and remember my "Market Street" days with Bryan, two memories stand out vividly in my mind:

The first one was at the end of 2009. Bryan and I were having dinner together and talking about I-don't-even-remember-what, and I was hit with the realization that I thoroughly enjoyed his company regardless of what we were talking about or doing. This was a big deal because I had never felt like that about anyone before in my entire life. I just loved being with him.

The second memory is from spring 2010. We got into some stupid ridiculous fight over dinner {shocking} and by the end of dinner we decided to break up {again} and in extreme anger I left the restaurant and went out to his car to wait for him. He followed me out and then proceeded to drive me home in silence. Suddenly, Bryan let out this deep breath and looked over at me totally deflated.

Bryan: We can't break up.

Me: Why not?

Bryan: Because if we do my mom will KILL me!

So we stayed together.

Tonight before dinner Tom and SuzAnn went to visit Bryan and took him a birthday balloon.

His headstone is beautiful. I need to go see it. I'm a super-ghetto girlfriend. I haven't been up to the cemetery yet because I'm not sure of how I will react to seeing Bryan's name on a headstone. He's not supposed to be there he's supposed to he here.

It's so frustrating.

{At the happiest place on earth with my most favorite person on earth!}

I just like this picture of us.

Here we are standing in line for the Pirates of the Caribbean ride about to get on our boat.

I am so glad we went on that trip last year! We had the best time. Being at Disneyland with Bryan felt surreal. It's one of my favorite memories.

Happy Birthday Bryan!!

We loved celebrating you today and talking about you over dinner and laughing at all the funny things you used to do {like how you would tell everyone that you had a military phone and a tank could run over it and it still wouldn't break, and how you would melt butter and eat it plain with a spoon, and you used to buy $100 shampoo so you wouldn't go bald...}

You are still so loved. You are so special. You are one in a million! There is no one else in this world like you. We don't laugh as much with you not here. You are still our sunshine. Every time I think of you I can't help but smile.

I miss you.

I think of you everyday.

Buon compleanno mio ti amo amore.

xoxo

Thomas Minus Two Teeth!

2012-01-09T13:00:00.000-08:00

{A toothless Thomas looking very Steve Jobs-esque in his black turtleneck}

In between Christmas and New Years Thomas lost not one, but two teeth. He lost his first tooth just a couple of days after Christmas, and then a couple of days later tooth number two made its way out.

Both of Thomas' bottom teeth are GONE! He is such a big boy! Just two months shy of age 5, Thomas has already had two visits from the Toothfairy, and both were in the same week.

I love his cute new tootless smile! He's pretty proud of it too, and he has been brushing his teeth non-stop to avoid getting "cabidies" on his incoming big boy permanent teeth.

:: Thomas is growing up, and he has a new smile to prove it!! ::

Secret of the Week

2012-01-08T20:28:00.000-08:00

{Post Secret}

On the first day of the new year I made the resolution to become a runner. I was so determined to see my resolution through, that on the second day of the new year I went out and bought a new pair of running shoes. And not just any kind of running shoes either. I bought the kind meant for trail running too, just in case running around my neighborhood in Farmington wasn't enough and I needed to step things up by running up a mountain too. These shoes made it possible for me to do both. I was set! No excuses!

On the first day of the new year I also made the resolution to drink more water. We {"we" as in "me"} all know that I don't have the willpower to give up Coke, especially cherry Coke, but simply just drinking more water is better than drinking more Coke, so I decided to drink more water along with my new running routine.

Well, here we are, eight days into January, and my running shoes, the kind that can even be used on mountain trails, are still in the box. And I have a 12 pack of Coke in my refrigerator.

That is why this secret reminded me of me.

Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I just lie down until the feeling passes.

Happy Howl-idays!

2012-01-05T19:11:00.000-08:00

{Indiana Bones' FIRST Christmas! Santa spoiled him rotten! No coal for this little munchkin!}

This year Thomas, Isabelle and I spent Christmas with my family. On Christmas Eve we had seafood for dinner, and Thomas and Isabelle got new pajamas. Pirates for Thomas, and ballerinas for Isabelle.

The kids were so excited for Santa to come, they had a hard time falling asleep!

Christmas morning was magical.

The one and only present Isabelle wanted for Christmas as an American Girl doll, Marie-Grace.

She was beyond thrilled that Santa's elves had enough time to make one for her at The North Pole!

{Marie-Grace out of the box!}

Thomas loves sports, trains, trucks, cars, and basically anything that moves. Santa brought him plenty of little boy toys to keep him active and busy!

{Thomas and his new red truck}

{Isabelle and her princess toys}

{The anticipation!}

{Indy}

{Brother & Sister}

:: BEST. CHRISTMAS. EVER!! ::

THE END.

Secret of the Week

2012-01-02T18:52:00.000-08:00

{Post Secret}

2011 was a year that is definitely in a category of it's own.

Hands down, the most difficult year of my life. I am not sad to see it end. To be honest, as the ball in Times Square dropped and the world entered into 2012, I felt such a sense of relief.

It's finally over. "It," the year of heart break, devastationn, uncertainty, and one of the ultimate losses any human being will ever experience.

What I went though this past year is something most people will experience in their 70's, 80's or 90's. Not usually at age 31. It was brutal.

BUT, 2012 will be much better. How do I know this? Because it cannot possible be as rough as last year was. Besides, my horoscope for 2012 said it would be a good one; a year of reckoning.

I am excited. I have much to look forward to. Already, it is off to a very good start. The best start.

I couldn't wait to see this last year end. Psychologically, it did wonders for me.

I also have the same beliefs as the person who submitted this postcard to Post Secret.

:: 2012 will be my best year yet ::

Pajama Rama!

2011-12-21T08:45:00.000-08:00

Today is Isabelle's last day of school for 2011! Her last day was actually supposed to be yesterday, but because school was cancelled for a couple of days due to the ~~tornado~~ wind storms a few weeks ago, the make-up day is today.

Isabelle's teacher is making today a FUN make-up day! Today isn't just any regular old day at school; today is a pajama party with ice-cream sundaes and the movie Olive the Other Reindeer.

Izzie has been so excited all month long for the pajama party! She wore her cupcake pajamas today {because she's my cupcake!} and her purple fuzzy slippers. She also brought her Love-A-Lot Care Bear from Aunt Stephanie and Uncle Alan with her to school today.

What fun my darling girl will have at today! Wearing jammies and eating ice-cream with friends the week before Christmas is as about as fun as first grade gets!!

:: HOORAY FOR CHRISTMAS BREAK!! ::

98% Nice, 2% Naughty {or maybe it's the other way around...}

2011-12-19T22:00:00.000-08:00

Thomas is so cute... but he's so naughty!!

With his angelic face and long eye lashes, I can't help but be completely wild about him, especially when he wears red argyle. Even if he is ~~a little~~ naughty. He's my boy!!

Today was Thomas' preschool Christmas program. When he wasn't sticking out his tongue and making smart-aleck faces at me, he sang hits like Jingle Bells, We Wish You A Merry Christmas, and Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer. Thomas also played his musical instruments really well. He was right on key.

{Typical Thomas}

{If Santa really did give out coal, he'd get a bucket of it.}

{... but then he can be so sweet!}

{How quickly I can forget about his naughtiness...}

{Reindeer-Thomas}

{Thomas & Mommy after his star Christmas performance! Thomas was in deep, deep thought.}

Great job singing, performing, ~~sticking out your tongue~~ and playing your musical instruments today Thomas! I am so proud of you Honey Bear ~ you're a little super star!!

La Bonne Vie

2011-12-18T20:03:00.000-08:00

{The Queen Bee & The Boyfriend}

Last week Thomas, Isabelle and I went downtown to see the Christmas windows at The Grand America Hotel. It is our second year in a row doing this, so now it is officially a holiday tradition! I am all about traditions. I am very repetitive and predictable that way.

This year the theme was Maurice {the penguin} on Holiday, and the kids and I went on a scavenger hunt to find the star in all 18 of the Christmas windows. At the end we got a star shaped sugar cookie from the bakery, La Bonne Vie.

So. Much. Fun!!

{Cutest kids ever!}

{Isabelle Grace}

{Isabelle in front of the real-life gingerbread house holding her scavenger hunt card}

{While we were there we also went inside the new toy store, Jou Jou. Thomas loved the 'monster window.'}

{Princess Isabelle loved the 'princess window.'}

I like taking the kids to see the windows because they {kind of, but not really} replace the famous ZCMI windows that are no longer. Plus it's free. And the sugar cookies at the end make the whole scavenger hunt worth it!!

Fairy Tale Friday {The Snow Queen}

2011-12-17T13:44:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was Fairy Tale Friday in Isabelle's first grade class. Isabelle is a little lover of fairy tales, and she lives for Fairy Tale Friday!

Because The Snow Queen by Hans Christian Andersen is one of our favorite storybooks, I decided that would be a fun fairy tale to present in the month of December in Izzie's class.

What fun we had with The Snow Queen!

After reading the story, the class made snowflake Christmas tree ornaments, and for a treat we had white powdered sugar donuts and each student got a little packet of hot chocolate to take home.

{The class making their Christmas tree ornaments}

{Isabelle & Me}

First grade is the best, especially when it's Fairy Tale Friday!

Live and in Concert!

2011-12-14T21:40:00.000-08:00

{Lily & Bella singing Sisters}

Beautiful nieces Lily and Bella stole the show at their Christmas voice recital!

The show started with a bam when the girls sang the song Sisters from White Christmas.

Having absolutely no stage fright whatsoever, Lily also sang Santa Baby.

Lily put Eartha Kitt to shame!

The recital ended with a bang when Bella beautifully and flawlessly sang O Holy Night.

Bella and Lily were the Christmas concert! I realized I'm a little biased, but they really did steal the show! They are both so talented! We are so proud of the beautiful and talented lovelies!!

Thomas, Isabelle and I cannot wait to see Bella and Lily perform again!

:: They are magnificent singers! ::

Good Day!!

2011-12-13T15:00:00.000-08:00

Today I / we went to court for the ~~millionth~~ billionth time.

{Custody battles are so long and ugly! But what can one do when being subjected to one? Deal with it; which I have been doing for the last 2 years. And yes, I'm fully aware that I am a stay at home mom and we live in the state of UTAH.}

But anyways.

Court today went so very, very, very, very, VERY well!!

I am on cloud 9.5.

Tonight Thomas, Isabelle and I are going to celebrate by doing something super-duper exciting, like going into Centerville.

Life is good.

My attorney is amazing.

What a way to end the tumultuous year of 2011 and enter into a new and much better 2012.

I am one happy girl today!!

Secret of the Week

2011-12-12T12:34:00.000-08:00

{Post Secret}

Me either.

The Sweetest Thing There Ever Was

2011-12-08T21:53:00.000-08:00

I love my Thomas so much.

He truly is the sweetest thing there ever was!

{Except for when he grounds hot pink play-doh into the carpet like he did tonight and I was tearing my hair out trying to get it cleaned up...}

The other day, already looking super adorable in his little sweater, Thomas came home from preschool and I started smoothering his soft little face with kisses. As I was doing so, he pulled away from me and said: "Mom, you can't kiss me! We're not married yet!"

{YET being the operative word}

That had me laughing so hard!

Good job son, and now you won't kiss kiss another girl until you're at least 35.

*wink*

:: I can't get enough of my little guy!! ::

Christmas Around The World {Sweden}

2011-12-05T21:16:00.000-08:00

{Zoe & Isabelle ~ best friends!}

During the month of December, Isabelle's class is learning about Christmas Around The World. Particularly fond of the Scandinavian countries, I volunteered to present on Sweden.

Isabelle was so excited for Swedish Day she went to school today dressed like St. Lucia as much as possible by wearing white and her already blonde hair in a "heidi-do" with red bows to look like red holly berries.

Today we learned about how in Sweden the Christmas tree is put up one or two days before Christmas, the tree is decorated with candles and apples, donkeys pull Santa's sleigh instead of reindeer, St. Lucia Day on December 13th marks the beginning of the Christmas celebration, presents are opened on Christmas Eve, and as part of the Swedish Christmas feast they eat saffron buns, rice pudding, toffee, ham, gingersnaps, and pickled pigs feet.

Guessing that first graders wouldn't be too excited to try pickled pigs feet, Isabelle and I decided to go with the gingersnaps for the treat today. It was a tough decision.

{Zoe. Isabelle. Me ~ with gingersnaps, a traditional Swedish dessert. Yummy!}

{Isabelle pointing to the reindeer she made in art class. She has talent!}

:: BEING IN 1ST GRADE AND LEARNING ABOUT CHRISTMAS AROUND THE WORLD IS THE BEST!! ::

Blustery Days

2011-12-04T21:44:00.000-08:00

{12.1.11}

{Thomas thinking long and hard about what he wants to ask Santa for!}

What a way for the weather to bring us into December!!

Last Wednesday and Thursday we all but had a tornado here! The wind storms were so severe we were without electricity for hours and hours, and even the schools were closed for two whole days due to heat loss and damaged windows.

CRAZINESS!!

Needing to get out of the house, on Thursday the kids and I met SuzAnn, Emily and Lily at the mall to see Santa. While there we also had dinner, window shopped, and let the kids play in the play area.

Because Bountiful was still without electricity Thursday evening {and luckily Farmington's was turned back on!} Lily came home with us and she and Isabelle had a first ever cousin's sleepover. What a ball the girls had! For hours they played barbies, played on barbie {dot} com, and ate two bags of popcorn.

Fun times!

{Isabelle & Lily}

{Thomas going down the slide on his tummy in the play area}

{Future news anchors!}

{Speaking of blustery days, today church was even cancelled so people could prepare for the next major wind storm. Wind storm #3 is happening right now... and it is so loud outside! I won't be getting much sleep tonight! Both Thomas and Isabelle are in my bed with me tonight... when it's crazy-loud outside and the power goes out, it's best to have The Boyfriend and The Queen Bee safe and snuggly in bed with me. The past few days I haven't really felt like the kids and I live in Utah, but more like in Kansas!}

Thank Heavens For Little Boys!

2011-11-30T09:12:00.000-08:00

{Sam. Leo. Thomas}

Boy, n.: a noise with dirt on it.
~ Not Your Average Dictionary

Thomas is one lucky little boy!

This week he got to have 2 play dates with 2 friends at the same time in the same afternoon! Happy to have some reprieve from mom and sister's "girl stuff" that goes on in our house {Isabelle and I are big-time toe nail painters, accessory coordinators and clothes try-oners} Thomas had an afternoon with best buddies Sam and Leo playing dragons and pirates, trucks, matchbox cars and "guys" ~ all those fun "boy" activities!

After playtime at our house, I took the boys over to the library for story time. The theme was "trains," perfect for the little bunch of train lovers! Among the stories read were The Polar Express {Thomas' favorite} and at the end there was a train activity.

I must admit, as much fun as Thomas had having a double play date with Sam and Leo, I have a whole new found respect for mothers who have boys. Not just one boy {because that's me} but boys. In multiples. Boys are little fireballs of energy! Especially 3 of them all age the of 4... WOW!! But they are sweet and adorable... I love my little Thomas!!

Adventure Time!

2011-11-29T10:24:00.000-08:00

The day after Thanksgiving my family went down to St. George to a much warmer climate and to have some fun in the dirt riding ATV's!

Thomas calls the ATV's "bicycles" ~ he loves riding around speedy fast and getting all dirty. Typical boy!

While we were there I couldn't help but think of the last time we rode ATV's down in St. George. What a memorable time that was!

Spending the holiday weekend down in sunny St. George was perfect ~ fun, warm, and relaxing!

{Uncle Awan with Thomas & Isabelle}

{Isabelle & Mommy ~ no, I am not wearing make-up...}

{Patrick. Stacie. Sarah. Me. Mom}

{Isabelle. Carson. Thomas}

{The Love Birds}

{Alan & Sarah}

{Alan making sure Thomas' helmet in on right!}

{Hold on Thomas ~ the bicycles go pretty fast!}

{Dare-Devil Thomas!!}

{Uncle Awan better hold on, crazy Izzie is at the wheel!}

{Patrick. Stacie. Stephanie. Alan}

{Patrick was really, really sad when our day at the dirt came to an end...}

Mom and Dad,
Thank-you so much for a wonderful weekend down in St. George! We love going there with you! You always go "all out" to make sure everyone has a good time ~ we are the luckiest to have you! Thomas and Isabelle especially are so lucky to have such incredible grandparents!!

:: THE END ::

A Day of Thanks

2011-11-29T10:04:00.000-08:00

{So thankful for Indiana Bones!!}

Thanksgiving 2011 was the best!

We spent it with my family {and Indiana Bones!} at my mom and dad's house. I made yummy mashed potatoes, a relish tray, and deviled eggs. Everything was so delicious! It was also Indy's first Thanksgiving, and even he got sliced turkey on top of his puppy food for dinner.

My Top 10 Thankful List for 2011:

1. The Boyfriend & The Queen Bee

2. The time Bryan and I had together before he passed away

3. Family ~ Taylor Family & Whitesides Family {and Indiana Bones!}

4. Best friends, like Emily B. and Suzanne H.

5. We love living in Farmington! Our house is way cute.

6. Being able to stay home and take care of The Boyfriend and The Queen Bee

7. The parenting class I teach ~ I love it! My students are awesome!

8. Good books

9. Good music {like Coldplay, Johnny Cash, and U2}

10. Cherry Coke

{Pretty Isabelle Grace}

{Me & Thomas}

{Isabelle with her favorite Aunt Stephanie!}

{Stacie. Stephanie. Dad}

{Stephanie & my favorite ~~family member~~ brother-in-law Uncle Awan}

{Ballerina Sarah & Stacie}

{Mom ~ best cook ever & Sarah}

{Ballerina Sarah & Indiana Bones}

We have so much to be thankful for!!

On the Eve of Thanksgiving...

2011-11-29T09:37:00.000-08:00

{Sam. Isabelle. Thomas}

This year on Thanksgiving Eve, after a day of preparation for the big holiday weekend, Thomas, Isabelle and I ended a day of hard labor around the house by going to Boondocks with our good friends Camille, Sam and Will. It was perfect! The kids ran around and had the time of their lives and Camille and I were able to visit.

It was a fun way to kick off the holiday weekend... and I was also reminded how lucky we are to have such good friends!

{Thomas insisted on wearing his hat and sun glasses the entire time we were there! He said before leaving the house that he wanted to looks like a "different guy." I think he looks just plain cute!!}

l.o.v.e. this boy!!

2011-11-25T18:16:00.000-08:00

{My little Native-American boy!}

Last week one of Thomas' preschool teachers had shoulder surgery. I was lucky enough to be able to substitute teach in Thomas' class!

What fun it was to be at preschool the week before Thanksgiving! Fun activities galore!!

It made me extremely happy to go to school with Thomas and see him in action in preschool. He is such a good little boy, and he sure does love school, his teachers, and all his little friends!

{Pilgrim Thomas}

{Thomas had to bring a "W" show-and-tell. He brought Winnie The Pooh and a Western Eeyore}

{The Gobble-Gobble song was so funny! Thomas couldn't stop laughing!}

{Thomas making a turkey}

{Preschool Friends}

Talented AND Beautiful

2011-11-25T17:43:00.000-08:00

{Bella ~ the beauty in red}

At the end of October, Bryan's beautiful niece Bella was the star of the play The Phantom of the Opry. Thomas, Isabelle and I went to see it with Emily and Lily. What fun it was! Bella stole the show!

We're so proud of you Bella ~ we always look forward to seeing you perform!

Broadway, here you come!!

Frightfully Delightful!

2011-11-25T17:36:00.000-08:00

Talented-Thomas did such a fantastic job in his preschool Halloween program!

He was the most muscley boy of the bunch!

Isabelle and I loved watching little brother perform spooky Halloween songs with his preschool class!

We're so proud of our Thomas!!

{muscle-boy}

{So scary!!}

{Thomas & Mommy}

Picking Pumpkins for Preschool!

2011-11-25T16:53:00.000-08:00

Last month, before Halloween, Thomas' preschool class took a field trip to Pack's Pumpkin Patch in Farmington. Pack Farms in the best! Thomas was so excited for the field trip, he wore his Jack Skellington shirt for the special occasion.

Thomas' class learned all about pumpkins from a real live farmer. Thomas' favorite kind of pumpkins are the goosebumps pumpkins.

The field trip was so much fun... I love being able to spend afternoons at the pumpkin patch with my little guy and his preschool class!

{Sitting on a GIANT pumpkin!}

{Thomas with a real live farmer at Pack's, teaching the class all about pumpkins!}

{This one's a keeper!}

{Two baby pumpkins!}

{So many pumpkins to choose from...}

{Scarecrow-Thomas}

{Me & Thomas in the pumpkin patch!}

:: THE END ::

Red Butte Gardens

2011-11-25T15:51:00.000-08:00

Before the fall weather turned crazy chilly, Isabelle's first grade class took a field trip to Red Butte Gardens! Thomas and I volunteered to help with the field trip, so we too were able to learn about the plants, foliage and insects that live there.

What a fun field trip it was ~ I can hardly think of a more beautiful place to spend a fall day than at Red Butte!

{classmates}

{Thomas loved going on the field trip too!}

{Isabelle crossing the lake}

{friends}

First grade field trips are so much fun! Thomas and I love being a part of Isabelle's elementary school days!

Absolutes.

2011-11-21T09:41:00.000-08:00

{Bad by U2 ~ my most favorite U2 song ever}

Bad is my favorite U2 song. The 'Live in Dublin' version is hands-down my most favorite.

Of any song in the world, this one reminds me most of Bryan. Even when Bryan was still here, this song made me think of him. I don't want to go into detail as to why this song has always made me think of Bryan, but it does. It gives me chills every time I hear it. Now, with Bryan being gone, it reminds me of him more than ever.

Bad isn't our song {ours is another three-lettered U2 song ~ and is also another post for another day} but listening to Bad is like having an out of body experience. It's so beautiful. And Bono's voice is amazing.

***

I remember about 9 months ago, Bryan and I were at home alone listening to U2 {probably in front of the fireplace.} I don't remember what song it was we were listening to, but Bryan looked at me and asked:

Do you think when Bono writes his music, he's inspired by God?

Me: Absolutely.

***

That fateful day Bryan passed away, as we were driving home from the doctor's office, we were listening to a U2 song. Again, I don't remember now what song it was, but I remember Bryan asking me in the car as we approached the Centerville exit to have lunch at In-N-Out:

If you had the opportunity to {ahem} *be* with Bono, would you?

Me: Absolutely.

***

Two years ago.

It was December 2009 and Bryan and I were having dinner at The Dodo in Sugarhouse. I remember I wore a dress. Probably black. From across the table Bryan looked at me and asked:

When I ask you to marry me, are you going to say yes?

Me: Absolutely.

***

Even though I still hold fast to those 3 absolutes {especially the second one} I do also know this much:

Is Bryan still with me?

Absolutely.

Does he still love me?

Absolutely.

Will I ever be fully and completely happy again, possibly even more so than I ever imagined to be humanly possible?

Absolutely.

Will I ever see Bryan again?

Absolutely.

But not yet.

Like the Scene of a Bad Accident

2011-11-19T15:47:00.000-08:00

Edward. Bella. Jacob

{and SuzAnn and Shannon and Emily...}

This weekend I saw the much anticipated movie Breaking Dawn with Bryan's family.

It was much like being at the scene of a bad car accident.

The movie was so bad but it was impossible to stop watching. Edward's extreme hotness and scenes where Jacob rips off his shirt prior to werewolf transformation made it so difficult to look away. So we sat through the entire thing. We just had to.

The pathetic thing is, in a year, November 2012 when B reaking Dawn 2 comes out I know I'll go see it. I don't know what it is, but something about hot vampires {o.k., Robert Pattinson} just keeps me coming back more more.

I'm a glutton for punishment like that.

{Suzie & Tom}

Bryan's parent's are so cute together! Tom's face reminds me of Bryan in this picture. They kind of look the same, don't they?

I couldn't help but think of Bryan throughout the movie... and how much he would have hated it. He used to refer to Edward as the European with the greasy hair.

Whatever Bryan.

Whatever.

Izzie Grace in the Spotlight!

2011-11-16T15:04:00.000-08:00

On Sunday Isabelle Grace was spotlighted in Primary!

It was so fun to learn all about Isabelle Grace!

Isabelle shared with the Primary her favorite foods {Chinese ~ The Mandarin and Panda Express and In-N-Out Burger}, hobbies {sewing, dance, swimming, art and reading}, favorite places {Disneyland, Frightmares and The Aquarium} and a CTR Moment {Isabelle always includes everyone at the playground to play with her and her friends!}

{One gorgeous red-lipped girl!}

{All About Izzie}

{The back of Izzie's fancy church hair 'do}

The best part about having a daughter is the clothes + hair + accessories + all the shoes!

I am the luckiest Mommy in the world to have Isabelle for my daughter. She is so bright, talented, kind, thoughtful, and her little {big} personality is so full of pizzazz!

We love having Isabelle as part of our family. Thomas and I don't know what we would do without our Princess Isabelle! She's as sweet as can be!!

Isabelle's Outfit:

Sweater Dress: The Children's Place

Sparkly Tights: The Children's Place

Sparkly Shoes: Target

Last Love

2011-11-14T22:46:00.000-08:00

In a nutshell, this is how my day began: I woke up at 4:44 a.m., realized it was the 14th, thus making it four months ago today, and then I went into the bathroom and cried for a good solid who-knows-how long.

When I saw this picture, I immediately thought of Bryan. No, we didn't grow old together; he left me with both of us still being in our 30's. I guess that means in our alternate universe Bryan and I will always be forever young.

I wasn't Bryan's first love {Bryan was a ladies man from the early age of 5!} but I was his last love. And that is beyond perfect. Bryan left loving me, and only me. Bryan told me on multiple occasions that he had never loved another girl as much as he loved me. It's true. His actions spoke even louder than those words said.

I still really, really miss him a lot.

{At the Grand America Hotel ~ December 2010}

"Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same."

~ Emily Bronte

Four months down, a lifetime to go.

I love you Bryan Thomas. Always have, always will.

xoxo

{Every Teardrop Is A Waterfall ~ the new Coldplay}

This song sums up my life pretty well right now, and it's actually a pretty decent total sum.

Overall, I am o.k.

Bryan still makes sure of that.

Secret of the Week

2011-11-13T08:50:00.000-08:00

{Post Secret}

This is my secret of the week, except for in reverse.

Here is a fact about me; I shave my legs every single day, no matter what. 365 days a year. Even in the middle of winter. Even when in the hospital after giving birth {twice!} and I was huge, swollen, emotional, milky and bloody, I shaved my legs.

And I put lotion on them, every single day.

It's a Shannon-thing {like also never leaving the house without earrings in, not wearing white shoes after Labor Day, and not ever calling boys first} it's what I do, and not do.

* I also don't de-friend people on Facebook either. I think it's childish and immature. But then again, people who like to revert back to the 8th grade and pull stuff like that are generally childish and immature. Those people are usually either balding/have hair plugs or are wearing the mom jeans and clearly have issues anyways, so whatever.

War Requium Opus 66

2011-11-12T08:25:00.000-08:00

{Celestra. Isabelle. Me. Thomas. Kristine}

I don't know about you, but I cannot think of a better, more perfect place to spend a November Friday night than at The Cathedral of the Madeline for a choir concert. Lucky for me, that is exactly what the children and I did last night!

The ever-so-talented {and beautiful, and bi-lingual, and brilliant ~ and all with a fun personality!} Celestra {Joy's daughter} performed in the children's choir Benjamin Britten's War Requium Opus 66 in honor of Veteran's Day at The Cathedral of the Madeline in downtown Salt Lake City. Thomas, Isabelle and I went with Ken, Kristine and Joy {from my first husband's side of the family; we still claim them as ours ~ we love them so much!!}

Thanks to Aunt Kristine's smart thinking ahead, her ipad and several games of Angry Birds kept Thomas totally quiet and entertained the entire time.

The concert was:

Beautiful.

Angelic.

Intense.

Amazing.

Elder L. Tom Perry was also there last night; that was pretty neat!

Isabelle was mesmerized by the Neo-Gothic saints and angels on the Cathedral's ceiling and walls, while Thomas had the thrill of his life lighting a prayer candle for 50 cents.

{Kristine & Celestra}

{Kristine. Celestra. Ken}

{Kristine. Celestra. Joy. Ken}

{Isabelle & Me}

How fun and Shannonesque it was last night to put Thomas and Isabelle in their winter best and walk among the crunchy fall leaves on the sidewalks from "D" Street to South Temple to the Cathedral of the Madeline for a choir concert.

I also like saying "my first husband." It makes me feel kind of like Elizabeth Taylor, only she had eight.

Even so...

Red Ribbon Week

2011-11-10T16:12:00.000-08:00

This week at Isabelle's school was Red Ribbon Week!

All week long Isabelle was able to show her school spirit and her pledge to be drug free!

On Tuesday Isabelle showed her pride by wearing red.

{Both a red turtleneck and red lip stick. That's my girl ~ she never leaves the house without lip gloss on and earrings in!}

Sock out drugs!!

Wednesday was crazy sock day

{or crazy leggings day in this case}

and a rockin' assembly.

It's up to me to be drug free!

Today was wear tye dye or peace signs.

We went with the peace signs.

Being a mommy to

an elementary schooler is

so much fun!!

My Irish Gnome

2011-11-08T12:23:00.000-08:00

Here's a widely known fact about Bryan: he was really annoying. Like really annoying. What Bryan had going for him though was he was ridiculously cute, and so his annoying qualities had a way of becoming rather endearing.

Most of the time.

I don't know what it was with Bryan and his "special voices" {apparently anyone who had either been married to Bryan or was in a serious relationship with him was the lucky recipient of a "special voice" a.k.a. a super annoying voice.}

Lucky for me, I got his Irish gnome/elf voice.

It was so freaking annoying.

He used to call me up/follow me around the house and say in this gnome voice really fast: "whatever are you doing?"

So not normal.

Eventually it got to the point that Bryan became incapable of talking to me in a normal voice. I could always tell when he was about to talk to me in the Irish gnome voice because his eyes would light up and he'd get really excited, and before speaking he'd pucker his lips ~ at that point I'd look at him, raise my eyebrows and say: "Bryan, just talk normal." It was a serious struggle for him to do that, it's like he just couldn't.

One time, when I was fed up with feeling like I was with a Disney cartoon character, Bryan said to me: "If anything ever happened to me, you would really miss the way I talk to you!" My response: "No I wouldn't."

It turns out Bryan was right.

{Just this one time though.}

The other night I was making a hard-copy of Bryan's voice mails on my cell phone. It turns out I kept three. Now I wish I would have kept all of them. I saved the very first one he ever left for me, the second one was from while on our Disneyland trip when he took Isabelle out shopping for the perfect princess necklace, and the last one is nearly four minutes long and is from one of our many infamous crazy-stupid fights.

The best part is, in the first voice mail, he says, in his Irish gnome voice: "I just wanted to call and see what you were doing!" Hearing that again Sunday night made me smile. I do miss Bryan's voice(s) ~ all of them. Especially the really, really annoying one.

{Bryan's alter-ego, an Irish gnome}

Secret of the Week {a plethora of secrets!}

2011-11-06T07:58:00.000-08:00

Sometimes it can be a stretch to find even one secret on Post Secret that speaks to me. On a very good week, I will find two that I have trouble deciding between for the ever coveted spot of 'Secret of the Week.'

This must be my day of good fortune because this morning I read not one, not two, but four secrets that were all oh so equally good I decided to post them all.

Do you even know how much this has made my day?

So here is my plethora of Post Secrets:

This lady is seriously amazing.

She's going strait to the top.

This secret made me laugh out loud.

I love it!

I want to be friends with this person!

This man is brilliant.

Every guy over the age of 27 should heed his advice.

This secret reminded me of Zeke.

Zeke is from the humane society.

His previous owners

{from somewhere in Sanpete County}

abused him and that is why he was taken away

from them and put in the pound.

Since June 10, 2002 though,

Zeke has had a very good life and I'm glad.

He's the cutest beagle on the block

and he deserves the very best!!

:: I {heart} Post Secret ::

Adventures With Rascally

2011-11-04T16:22:00.000-07:00

Since Wednesday Thomas has had Rascally The Rabbit.

Rascally is a little preschool buddy that takes turns going home with each child. At the next class, Rascally's adventures are shared with the class.

This is Thomas & Rascally before leaving for preschool today. Thomas and Rascally had many adventures to share! The Children's Museum downtown! Eating sweet and sour meatballs together! Watching an episode of Goosebumps!

Rascally and Thomas and the best of friends! Since Wednesday they have shared many adventures together, even sleeping in the same bedroom at night.

We love having Rascally over to visit and we can't wait for him to come back again!!

A Terror-ific Time!

2011-11-03T13:19:00.000-07:00

{Thomas. Stacie. Isabelle. Dad}

For Halloween I took Thomas and Isabelle trick-or-treating downtown at my dad's law firm. We met up with my parents, sisters, Alan {or "Uncle Awan" a.k.a. "best brother-in-law in the world"} and Indiana Bones, who went dressed as a mail man/mail dog, hat and mail bag included.

While there we ate a yummy dinner, Thomas and Isabelle scored a ton of candy {and the good candy too, like the giant pixie sticks!} and my family and I had fun visiting and laughing with each other.

Naturally, Indiana Bones, the little mail carrier/mail dog was the hit of the entire event! Indy is too cute for words!

{Stephanie. Me. Stacie. Sarah}

{The kids with Aunt Stephanie and Indy!}

{Thomas loves to climb on Uncle Awan!}

{In the conference room after eating dinner}

{Mom & Sarah}

{Alan. Isabelle. Stephanie}

:: THE END ::

The Boo Crew!

2011-10-31T23:11:00.000-07:00

{Thomas. Lily. Isabelle}

I am exhausted and my feet hurt.

Aside from that, I do have to admit that this has been the best Halloween ever! I can't pin-point exactly why, but it was a really good day, from start to finish.

The weather was so warm and beautiful tonight, we had the kids out trick-or-treating for close to two hours, and that is why my feet hurt. That and Thomas insisted I carry him home ~ uphill, all while holding his candy bag that weighed like 20 pounds.

Today Thomas, Isabelle and I spent the Halloween-day and the Halloween-night with Bryan's family. We love being with the Whitesides family; they are our favorites! We had pizza and salad for dinner, and then Tom, SuzAnn, Emily and I took the kids trick-or-treating around Bountiful. The kids made out like bandits with all the candy they scored!

Now we're home and the kids are fast asleep and my feet hurt and I can't wait to go to bed.

It was a good Halloween.

Thomas went as Spider Man, Lily as a Spanish salsa dancer, and Isabelle as a vampire princess.

I am so going to sleep now.

Good night and Happy Halloween to all!!

p.s. Tonight while we were out, Emily and I were reflecting on last Halloween, 2010. Last year Bryan and I and Thomas and Isabelle spent Halloween with Bryan's family. Just like we did this year ~ Halloween dinner, trick-or-treating, celebrating my birthday, making the 31st of October all about the kids, Emily and I talking about boy-related drama... it's comforting to know that things have stayed the same!

Fabulous Birthday!

2011-10-30T23:56:00.000-07:00

Today is my birthday... happy birthday to me!

How fun it was to turn 29 ~~again~~!

Truthfully, I didn't just have a birthday, it was more like a birthday week. Not that I did any non-stop celebrating, but special things happened this week that made my day today even more special.

My week began with a surprise Facebook message from my friend Lorena. She had a dream about Bryan that she shared with me. That totally made my week! Bryan's message to her to pass along to me was exactly what I needed to hear, especially that day. Ironically, a couple of days later, my youngest sister Sarah called me relaying a very similar dream and message to me from Bryan. Coincidence? Absolutelty not! It's my sweetheart.

On Saturday my mom and dad took me shopping for new bedding. I have wanted new bedding for so long! We went to Macy's and I found bedding that I absolutely love! I love the color red {it's my favorite color, even though Bryan always thought it was pink, it's actually red!} and I love cherry blossoms, so I fell in love with this set as soon as I saw it. I can't wait to put in on my bed! My bedroom will have a much needed make-over! Finally!

After we picked out my birthday bedding, my mom, dad and I met Sarah and Carson for dinner at Red Robin. I had the fish tacos {my most favorite food ever!} and then we went back to my mom and dad's house {I slept over last night} and my mom and I watched the movie Gladiator. My mom has never seen it before, and it is one of my most favorite movies ever {and was one of Bryan's most favorites as well; we've watched it more times that I can even count!} Everytime I watch it I can't help but think of him. It's such a beautiful movie! I cry at the end everytime.

Today ~ my birthday, I went to church at my parent's ward {that was fun!} and then tonight everyone came over for dinner + cake + presents + tons of picture taking {picture taking of me ~ this blog post really is vanity at its finest!}

Isabelle. Me. Thomas

With the boyfriend.

No, he's still not ever getting married or moving out.

With the Queen Bee

Stacie and Sarah,

who strive to be on Ace of Cakes on the Food Network,

made my birthday cake.

It was yummy!

They made a checkered German chocolate

{mine and Bryan's favorite, we are such twinners!}

and French vanilla cake with coconut pecan frosting.

It was de-lish!

Love this boy!

Getting ready to sing and blow out the candles!

{I bet you can't guess what I wished for!}

Dad. Me. Mom

{Nice shirt stains, dad!}

About to open up the kids' birthday gift!

They gave me a pumpkin spice candle

and Isabelle made a card that said:

"Happy Birf Day Mom!

I love you and you love me.

Love, Isabelle"

My sweet girl and new pumpkin candle

Thomas helped me open up part one of Stephanie and Alan's birthday gift ~ a super cute cardigan with gold sequins on it from Ann Taylor Loft. I love the Loft! And I love cardigans, I could live in an empire of cardigans.

With Stephanie and my new dark skinny jeans.

Skinny jeans really do make you look skinner.

Once you wear them, there's no going back.

So long, bootcut!

Stephanie and Alan also gave me this

beautiful 2012 calendar of me and Bryan.

It made me cry... a lot.

With my fun new bedding

{red cherry blossoms + red European pillows, yay!!}

Me & Mom

Today was a fabulous birthday ~ or week rather.

I have a feeling 29 ~~again~~ will be a very good year!

And now tomorrow we celebrate Halloween!!

I love having an October birthday!!

I love being a Scorpio ~ it's me to a "t"!!

I have the greatest family in the world. I love them so much! They are the best! I feel like everyone, sensitive to the fact that this is my first birthday without Bryan, really went out of their way to make today an extra special day for me. I felt very happy and loved all day!

Bryan's two messages to me via Sarah and Lorena this last week also made me feel very loved, secure and special too. It never ceases to amaze me how much that man loves me ~ we have a relationship that spans across the universe.

Yes, it was a fabulous birthday.

:: THE END ::

Frightmares! {October 2010}

2011-10-27T10:50:00.000-07:00

{Isabelle & Bryan}

Last October Bryan and I really maximized the amount of fun-ness we had with the kids over Halloween. I'm so glad we did! Come to think of it, Bryan and I were pros at maximizing our fun-ness all the time.

Last October was particularly special though, in that {unbeknownst to any of us at the time} it would be our last time we'd celebrate Halloween together, the last time we'd celebrate my birthday together, the last time we'd pick pumpkins together, the last time we'd take the kids trick-or-treating, the last time we'd eat SuzAnn's festive Halloween dinner all together, and the last time we'd go to Frightmares at Lagoon together.

A couple of days before Halloween 2010 Bryan and I, along with Thomas and Isabelle, went to Frightmares with the Whitesides family {Tom, SuzAnn, Emily, Bella and Lily.}

We had a great time!

I remember Bryan taking Isabelle on the Lady Bug Bop about a million times, and then he took Thomas on the Terror Ride about a billion times. Thomas kept on saying to Bryan: "Again? Again?" each time after they'd go on the Terror Ride, and so Bryan kept on taking Thomas on it over... and over... and over. When they were done, I recall Bryan happily saying to me that he had a lot of fun having one-on-one time with Thomas and it was good bonding time for them.

I love how Bryan interacted with Thomas and Isabelle. He was so good with them! Everything about Bryan was perfect!

{Thomas & Isabelle on the boats}

{Isabelle with the Mad Hatter}

{With a Princess}

{BLAST OFF!!}

{On the Lady Bug Bop... about to shoot high up into the night sky!}

{Best Friends Forever}

:: THE END ::

Shades of Autumn

2011-10-23T20:46:00.000-07:00

{Bryan's resting place, all decorated for fall}

Today after church Thomas, Isabelle and I met Tom, SuzAnn, Emily, Bella and Lily at our favorite park, The Castle Heights Park in Kaysville for a picnic.

In honor of Bryan, we ate Kentucky Fried Chicken for dinner ~ Bryan's absolute favorite! The kids had a blast playing in the castle and venturing down into "the woods" to the "quicksand" {like in the movie The Neverending Story.} Tom, Suzy, Emily and I had a nice time visiting with each other. The weather outside today was absolutely beautiful!

After dinner and playtime at the park, we headed over to the Kaysville Cemetery to decorate Bryan's grave for fall. Doesn't it look lovely? The kids and I brought the pumpkins we picked at Pack Farms yesterday. The big round pumpkin is from Thomas, the Cinderella pumpkin is from me, and the two little ones are from Isabelle. Tom and SuzAnn brought the beautiful orange and yellow mums.

Now that Bryan has been gone for three months, we can now put a headstone at his resting place. We talked about that for a bit tonight, I think we're going to go with a dark charcoal colored one. Bryan would like that. Emily and I joked about how we should make the letters on it bright hot pink... long story, but it was funny.

Funny to me, Emily, Bella and SuzAnn anyways.

Bryan. Bryan. Bryan.

I can't believe he's been gone for {just a little over} three months now. It's been hard, but truth be told, I have been doing so much better since I found out we can still be sealed together. What's better than that? {Aside from actually having Bryan here?} Nothing! I am just so happy and excited about having that done.

Now we're all officially ready for Halloween/fall... Bryan included!

"P" is for Pumpkin

2011-10-23T15:14:00.000-07:00

As I've said before, I really get into traditions. Last year when Bryan and I took Thomas and Isabelle to Pack's Pumpkin Patch, we had such a fun time Bryan and I decided to make it a yearly Halloween-time tradition.

Yesterday afternoon I took the children to Pack Farms in West Farmington. Bryan came with us. I'm positive. Here's why: We parked our car in the "parking lot" of the farm, and as soon as we stepped out of the car, a giant yellow dragonfly was flying right in front of us, and flew into the pumpkin patch with me, Thomas, and Isabelle. For real. And dragonfly's aren't even supposed to be out this late in the year! But Bryan really loves us a lot, so he sent a dragonfly to accompany us so we would know he was there with us too.

I really appreciate how Bryan still makes his presence known to us, all the time. How I love my Bryan!

Also, yesterday as I stood with our wagon I was next to the Cinderella pumpkins {my favorite} I felt Bryan strongly there too, standing right next to me.

I have no doubt he was at the pumpkin patch with us yesterday.

I love Bryan so much.

He is my f.a.v.o.r.i.t.e.!

CREEPY!!

Princess Isabelle standing with the Cinderella carriage

Scarecrow-Thomas

Isabelle & Thomas having a witchy good time!

Our wagon of pumpkins

The Prince of the Pumpkin Patch

Isabelle is in a big-time scarf phase right now...

The Princess of the Pumpkin Patch

The cutest pumpkins at Pack Farms!

While we were there we also picked out some pumpkins to take up to the cemetery for Bryan. We like to regularly decorate his grave and leave nice things out for him. We always want our Bryan to feel loved, adored, and remembered!

Fall activities are the most fun of all, especially when Bryan comes with us.

Black Island Farms Harvest Festival

2011-10-22T23:16:00.001-07:00

{Lily & Isabelle}

I'm really big on traditions. Like clockwork, I like to do the same exact things every single year as a particular holiday approaches {in this case, that holiday is ~~my birthday~~ Halloween}. Halloween is mine and the children's most favorite holiday ~ we love it!

Fall is also my favorite season. I love everything about it! Pumpkins, soup, hot chocolate, Halloween costume shopping, spooky stories, scary movies, the fireplace going, turtlenecks, boots, extra blankets on the beds... love it!

Last October SuzAnn, Emily and I took the kids to the Black Island Farms Harvest Festival in Syracuse. Because none of us deviate from what was done the year before or the year before that, we went again this year over the UEA/Fall Break. The kids love it... it's one of the fall activities they look forward to the most!

The Harvest Festival is on a legitimate {real live!} farm, and it has acres and acres of autumn fun! There are wagon rides, train rides, baby pig races, a hay maze, corn maze, pumpkin patches, and gigantic slides for the kids to go down. While Thomas, Isabelle and Lily ran around having the time of their lives, SuzAnn, Emily and I found ourselves a nice quiet picnic table and shared a big bag of kettle popcorn and visited.

It was p.e.r.f.e.c.t.!

Thomas and Isabelle,

the cutest pumpkins in the patch!

Lovely Lily & Crazy Izzie

Down the slide they go!!

Thomas loved the train ride!

He went on it about a million times!

While Isabelle and Lily claimed the train ride was

"so stupid"

they continued going on it

{secretly loving every minute of it}

Speedy-Gonzalas Thomas was going down

the huge tube slide so fast he lost a Croc!

{The Cousins}

We all went home with pumpkins! Thomas chose a goosebumps pumpkin, Isabelle chose a perfectly round orange pumpkin, and I went home with my very favorite kind, a big deep orange Cinderella pumpkin. Right now, our front porch looks awesome!

After we left the pumpkin patch we met Tom {Bryan's dad} at the Olive Garden up in Layton. It was so good! The kids and I shared the Five Cheese Ziti; it's our new favorite.

Then we went home, all took baths {since we had dusty feet, smelled like hay, and the kids had buried themselves in chicken feed...} and called it a night.

It was a perfect day, a perfect night, and the perfect way to make the most of our Fall Break/time off from school.

:: We're falling for fall! ::

Happyness

2011-10-18T22:20:00.001-07:00

For some moments in life
there are no words.

~ Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

Tonight I am really happy.

I mean, really, really, REALLY happy!

Truthfully, this is the happiest I have been since my sweet Bryan passed away. After 3 1/2 months of being completely heart broken, my heart actually now feels whole.

This evening I had an appointment with my Bishop; he wanted to give me a calling. Thankfully, it was a calling that is right up my alley. I readily accepted.

THEN came the unexpected yet happy part:

After talking about some other things, my Bishop asked me if I would like to work on being sealed to Bryan. Imagine my delight! Of course I want to be sealed to Bryan! I have issues galore with the fact that he and I weren't married {since that piece of paper from the Utah Sate government is so important and all} but having the peace of actually being sealed to my sweetheart, the love of my life ~ wow, there are no words. Even now as I try to express my happiness at the prospect of having this done, I still can't eloquently articulate how incredibly good and exciting this feels.

Even though Bryan has passed and we weren't actually married on earth, this sealing can be done... and it will be done. The process is starting now and I am so excited, it's as if Bryan and I "officially" got engaged this evening. And things will become even more official once he has been gone for a year.

I actually finally have something extraordinarily wonderful to look forward to!!!

While I still have to go through the rest of this life without Bryan, at least I will know with absolute certainty I will be with him throughout the eternities.

I am alright with that.

***

On Monday Thomas was chosen to take home this special scrapbook photo album from his preschool. All the kids get a turn. We are supposed to add a family picture to the scrapbook. Tonight I looked for a family photograph, and I quickly came across the one taken on Christmas Day 2010 of Bryan and I with Thomas and Isabelle. It is the perfect family picture. In the preschool scrapbook it went! In light of my conversation with my Bishop this evening, I felt it was appropriate to label Thomas' page as the "Anderson-Whitesides Family." For 2 years we were a family. We actually still are a family. Death ends a life, not a relationship {Mitch Albom, Tuesday's With Morrie}. Bryan is still with me and the children. I know it. Now, more than ever.

***

I am so grateful to have such an amazingly "normal" and compassionate Bishop who doesn't see situations in black and white, but rather as shades of grey. Life's decisions are not always black and white, and Bryan and I were most definitely a certain shade of grey {albeit a lovely one, a deep speckled charcoal perhaps?} Given our circumstances, Bryan and I really were doing the very best we could. My Bishop understands that.

Bryan and I had {still have} such a special relationship. It was unique, one in a million, once in a lifetime oh my stars kind of love.

Our love is eternal, because real love stories have no ending.

:: happyness is found here ::

Clear Horizons Academy Benefit Gala

2011-10-17T23:00:00.001-07:00

{Dad. Mom. Me. Stephanie. Alan}

On Saturday I spent the evening with my parents, sister and brother-in-law down in Orem at a dinner and auction to benefit the Clear Horizons Academy. It is an annual event that is a fun way to raise money for a great cause. This year was my 4th year attending {last year Bryan and I went together...} and it is something I look forward to every year!

{My dad's law firm purchases a table every year, so that's my connection to an outstanding event such as this!}

At the gala there is a silent auction {I actually went home with my bid!}, dinner, and a live auction which is pretty entertaining. This year a baby grand piano + one hour of Kurt Bestor playing in your home was auctioned, trips to Mexico, a painting by James Christensen, and a lot of really other exciting items {a three-bedroom penthouse in Park City, anyone?}

{Alan & Stephanie}

{Alan. Stephanie. Me}

Nationwide, 1 in every 110 children is diagnosed with autism. In Utah, the statistics are even more dismal, it's 1 in every 77 children.

This is a benefit I feel very strongly about, and because of that I have already decided that for next year's benefit gala I want to for sure help donate items for the silent auction. So many neat things are auctioned off, 100% of the money goes to the school, and I want to be a part of it!

I already have some really fun ideas; for example, I love this necklace made by The Vintage Pearl and I would like to see if they would be interested in donating one {or two perhaps!}

The wheels in my head are already spinning with all sorts of creative ideas!!

Clear Horizons Academy

Primary Program

2011-10-16T22:30:00.000-07:00

{Mom. Dad. Me. Sarah. Stacie. Patrick.

with Isabelle & Thomas}

Today was our ward's Primary Program! Thomas and Isabelle did such a fantasic job! They both sang beautifully and said their speaking parts like pros. I am so proud of my beautiful daughter and my handsome little ~~boyfriend~~ son!

These are their lines from today's program:

Thomas: "Listen to our song."

Isabelle: "Just like road signs keep us safe and warn us of danger ahead, the prophet's directions are like road signs."

Isabelle & Thomas with Grandma & Grandpa outside the church right after the primary program

Aunt Stacie & {soon-to-be} Uncle Patrick

With Grandpa Tom

The Primary Program was a smashing success! Glazed Krispie Cream donuts were the after-program treat.

It was so nice to have the support of my family there today! I am so grateful to have a family who comes to everything. Between the Taylor Family and the Whitesides Family, the children and I couldn't out-do ourselves anymore in the family department. We really are the luckiest!

:: Today was a beautiful day ::

{Mormon.org}

Picking Pumpkins At Pack's Pumpkin Patch! {October 2010}

2011-10-14T02:03:00.000-07:00

Here are Bryan and I with the kids picking pumpkins at Pack's Pumpkin Patch {try saying that 5x's fast!} last October, 2010.

This is one of my very most favorite memories of last fall-time with Bryan. We had so much fun taking Thomas and Isabelle to Pack's, we decided right then and there that it would be an annual tradition. I remember walking through the pumpkin patch and saying to Bryan: "Oh my gosh, this is like the funnest thing I have ever done!" He started laughing and told me I was "cute" and that he loved how I got really excited over little things, such as pumpkins and bales of hay.

I am so glad we took pictures galore on that family outing. It was one of the best family nights we ever had!

Thomas & Isabelle

Bryan, the great wagon puller

Picking the perfect pumpkins...

Bryan found a keeper!

My two favorite boys!

So strong Thomas!

Sweetheart Izzie

Best Friends Forever

Yep. No caption needed.

Isabelle with her Prince

{She used to call Bryan her Prince... they had a most special bond!}

Bryan with the kids

Thomas. Me. Isabelle

With my sweetheart among the pumpkins

Izzie thought the little pumpkins were so cute!

Bryan and I just loved being together, so much.

When we got home that evening, we put all our pumpkins on the front porch for decoration. We had quite a variety of pumpkins! Izzie chose the white one, she was on a "white pumpkin kick" last October.

Best. Fall. Day. Ever.

:: THE END ::

p.s. we love you Bryan and miss you like crazy, all the time! You have been gone for exactly 3 months today... We are so glad we had a memorable fall with you last year. We had the best time picking pumpkins at Pack's with you! Just being with you made every holiday/season/occasion/ordinary day a special one. The memories we have of you are a treasure.

xoxo,

Shannon, Isabebelle & Thomas

Lovers In Japan

2011-10-11T23:01:00.000-07:00

{Shannon + Bryan}

Tonight was very HARD!

For the past 3 months I have been keeping Bryan's cell phone on, completely activated, and fully charged.

It's what I do.

Bryan used to be the worst at letting his cell phone battery die. He would take his charger with him to work so he could charge it there, but then he'd leave that at work which caused quite a hassle, especially on the weekends when he'd be stuck with a dead cell phone. After dealing with his never ending cell phone drama for months, I finally took control and began charging his cell phone for him every night after he got home from work, thus alleviating a whole set of the previously mentioned annoyances.

Did I ever mention that Bryan was also my third child? He was.

Anyways, Bryan and I were on the same cell phone plan. The Family Plan it was. After 3 months {since July} I finally decided it was pointless to keep paying for a cell phone that was no longer used. I knew I had until October 12th to cancel his phone without having to pay for another month, so naturally I waited one hour before midnight to do so.

First though I forwarded to myself all of his picture texts. It made me smile to see so many pictures of Thomas and Isabelle on his phone. Bryan really loved them, a lot.

I called Verizon this evening, explained the situation {they were very kind and sympathetic} and I stopped service on Bryan's phone and downgraded to a Single User Line.

For some reason, the whole cancellation of Bryan's cell phone was very emotional for me. It felt tonight like one more piece of him is gone.

***

On my cell phone Bryan was #2 on my speed dial and was also my top emergency contact. That will not be changing! He also had a special ring tone, just for him, and he is the only one who has and will ever have this ring tone on my phone. It was Lovers In Japan by Coldplay. I love that song {especially the acoustic version}. For some reason it has always reminded me of Bryan. I don't know why. Neither he nor I have ties to Japan or Japanese food/art/decor or what-not, but the song is beautiful and it reminded me of Bryan, so it became his ring tone.

So now it's even more real {yes, reality is still setting in}. Now that his phone is deactivated, I will never again see 'Bryan Whitesides' come up on my screen as the chorus of Lovers In Japan plays. Knowing that has taken yet another piece of my heart out. I'm not sure there's much left.

Bryan and I are a tragic love story.

So far, October is just plain hard.

{For Bryan}

{Bryan's ring tone}

xoxo

Pretty Girl. Beautiful Girl.

2011-10-08T22:47:00.000-07:00

{This song reminded Bryan of me}

Something Bryan always liked to do was watch me get ready in the bathroom. At first I thought it was his subtle way of "rushing" me so we wouldn't be late, but it turned out he just genuinely liked watching me get ready. The whole process: flat ironing my hair, putting on my make-up, picking out what to wear, everything.

Every single time as Bryan would watch me do this, he would say to me with a smile when I was finished: "pretty girl."

More than one time Bryan and I would be together and I wouldn't be all prettied up. I'd be wearing yoga pants, no make-up, my hair in a pony tail, and Bryan would look over at me and say: "You are so pretty!" And I would respond with: "And you are so blind! I'm not wearing any make-up and I didn't do my hair today!" Then Bryan would respond with: "I just don't see any of that." And he didn't. Bryan always made me feel beautiful no matter what and I know he only had eyes for me. {And vise versa}.

About a year and a half ago, Bryan and I were putting some new music on his ipod. He downloaded Beautiful Girl by INXS, just for me. On more than one occasion when I'd come home Bryan would have everything timed just right so when I'd walk through the door it would be playing. He liked that song {and so did I}. He said it reminded him of me.

***

I am missing Bryan a lot. The last 2 weeks have been extremely difficult. I think it's the season/weather change. I can't help but think of all the things we did last fall. We spent Halloween together, my birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years... Now "the holidays" are quickly approaching and Bryan is not here.

It is so painful.

That hole-in-my-heart feeling still has not left. In fact, I'm pretty sure it's getting bigger. How does one get over the love of their life?

You don't.

***

It's funny now, though, when I'm finished getting ready and I give myself a look-over in the bathroom mirror, I can't help but hear Bryan in my mind saying to me "pretty girl."

In so many ways it's like Bryan is still here, except for he's not, but he is.

I'm selfish, and as lovely and as perfect I'm sure it is there, I want Bryan to be here. There are only 2 words I can think of to describe how I am feeling right now:

THIS SUCKS.

~ Shannon {Bryan's pretty girl, beautiful girl}

Puppy Love

2011-10-03T17:44:00.000-07:00

For the last couple of days, Indiana Bones and I have been spending a lot of non-stop quality time together.

We have been doing all the things a normal pet owner and her pet do together: taking long walks, playing fetch, snuggling on the couch with good books, and having photo shoots together.

Like I said, all the normal things.

I love this boy!

Indy is the new hot ticket in my life,

and he's pretty perfect.

He's really cute too.

Most importantly, we are extremely happy

when we're together.

We also get along super well.

{my sparkly turquoise toes}

This afternoon Emily called me after I had a particularly *lame* phone conversation with someone. Naturally, I told Emily everything, leaving no detail out.

Me: "I am so annoyed!"

Emily: "I don't blame you! This is not o.k.!"

Me: "I know, right?"

Emily: "Let's go get pedicures!"

Me: "Good idea! I'll leave in 5 minutes!"

{Aren't sister-in-laws just the best?}

A pedicure was exactly what I needed today. That hour having my feet pampered while visiting with Emily was very much in order. Much more effective and way cheaper than a therapist and a prescription for Prozac. And besides, now I have cute sparkly toes, and for some reason, cute feet makes everything right in my life.

{That, and right after I got home I saw 3 huge dragonflies in my driveway, reminding me that Bryan is on the other side working his magic, and everything will be o.k.}

Secret of the Week

2011-10-01T22:43:00.001-07:00

{Post Secret}

I could so relate to this secret when I read Post Secret tonight! This one stood out to me more than any of the others.

When Bryan passed away, so many thoughtful people gave me advice on things to do that would help me cope with the sudden loss. See a therapist, join a grief support group, contact a medium, write down my feelings, and reading books on death and the hereafter were among the recommendations.

Of all the {many} things I have done to work through and cope with my grief, I must admit that reading books on death {wait, there is no death, only life!} and the afterlife have helped and comforted me more than anything else.

Right after Bryan passed away, I became obsessed and fixated on what happened to him. Not the "how" in how he died, but what happened at the moment he passed? What did he experience? Where did he go? What was it like for him? Most importantly, where was he now?

Even now, at least once a day, I stop myself and ask, in complete confusion still, "Bryan, where are you?"

And then I will realize that he is here, right here with me, more than I even realize I'm sure.

When Bryan was alive it was he who looked out for me, took care of me, was there for me, helped me, protected me, and would go to the ends of the earth for me. There is a reason I refer to him as my knight in shining armor; he really was. So why would things be different now that he's on the other side? They're not! He's still looking out for me, taking care of me and protecting me. Thomas, Isabelle and I {and the rest of Bryan's family} now have our very own personal guardian angel. Bryan is doing what he has always done best, and that is taking care of the people he loves, only now he can do it even better.

{Although that brings a great sense of peace, we still miss him like mad!}

Anyways, back to the postcard.

Ever since I can remember, books are what I have turned to for solace. Over the course of the last couple of months I have made it my mission to read as many {legitimate} books on death and the hereafter as possible. Among my most favorite authors are Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and Dr. Raymond Moody. Everything they have written has helped me more than even a therapist could with my grief, depression, and heartache. I don't know where I would be today without my books...

However, I still wear Bryan's iguana shirt to bed on most nights {when it's dirty I wear the green t-shirt}, I still haven't changed or moved a single thing of his in the house {even his pants are folded in the closet and left the same way he had them that day}, and just last week when I found a stray sock of his I tore the house apart until I found its match, and once I did, the socks went in to his drawer with the rest of them.

***

Saturdays might as well me renamed as "SuzAnn, Emily & Shannon Day" because every Saturday the 3 of us end up together to make a day of it. Today was no exception. We went to the big Down East in Layton {*because none of us have any clothes and we were in desperate need of new fall outfits!*}, then we went to the Layton Hills Mall, out for Mexican food for dinner, and saw the movie The Help. What a good movie that was! I loved the book, and I am in love with the movie. I'm kind of in the mood to watch in again, right now.

After the movie we started talking about how, when last winter, we all {we as in the Whitesides family} saw the then new Harry Potter movie at the Bountiful theater. We were laughing as we recalled how Bryan showed up for the movie wearing a big black jacket and a black beanie, looking like he was on his way to rob a liquor store. Emily told him to take the hat off. He threw a fit but finally did it, and then ended up eating most of her popcorn throughout the movie. Bryan really loved buttery popcorn. A lot.

As we talk about Bryan, it's funny what we remember about him. The most random memories will pop into my mind, and I need to write them down so I don't forget {enter, blog}. Another form of therapy, writing on my blog.

Reading books, shopping for cute skirts with Bryan's mom and sister, talking and laughing about Bryan, and watching inspiring movies like we did tonight are excellent forms of therapy too.

Therapy comes in many forms, is what I've learned, but it's always extra good therapy when it includes an additional 30% off sale rack and good company with those who love and miss Bryan as much as I do.

She & Him, A-Z:

2011-09-29T12:50:00.000-07:00

After seeing this floating around on several other blogs that I occasionally ~~stalk~~ read, I decided to join in on the fun and play along. So here is everything you never knew you always wanted to know about Shannon & Bryan, and then some:

A. Age: 31 {or *29*}
B. Bed size: king
C. Chore that you hate: putting the folded laundry away
D. Dogs: love them
E. Essential start to your day: shower
F. Favorite color: red
G. Gold or silver: silver
H. Height: 5'4"
I. Instruments you play: piano
J. Job title: stay at home mommy
K. Kids: 2, Isabelle & Thomas
L. Live: Farmington, Utah
M. Mother's name: Pam
N. Nicknames: Sweetheart, Sweetums, Shenandoah River (?), Peach, Bubble Gummer {all Bryan's nicknames for me}
O. Overnight hospital stays: 2, when I gave birth to my children
P. Pet peeves: bad grammar
Q. Quote from a movie: "You should be kissed, and often, and by someone who knows how." Rhett Butler in Gone With The Wind
R. Right or left handed: right
S. Siblings: 3 younger sisters, Stephanie, Stacie & Sarah
T. Time you wake up: 7:30 a.m.
U. Underwear: Um, yes?
V. Vegetable you hate: rhubarb
W. What makes you run late: my kids
X. X-rays you've had: chest and dental
Y. Yummy food that you make: stir fry, curry
Z. Zoo animal: polar bear

A. Age: 39

B. Bed size: king

C. Chore that you hate: Bryan loved to clean {he was very metro-sexual that way} and I recall him liking all chores...

D. Dogs: no, he was allergic

E. Essential start to your day: In this order: snuggling with Shannon, taking a shower, coffee, snuggling with Shannon for 5 more minutes before heading off to work, calling Shannon on the way to work...

F. Favorite color: neon green

G. Gold or silver: silver

H. Height: 5'10"

I. Instruments you play: Bryan had a lovely singing voice

J. Job title: marketing for Google

K. Kids: 2, Isabelle & Thomas {Bryan was the best bonus-daddy ever!}

L. Live: Farmington, Utah / Heaven {whichever, Bryan still spends a lot of time around here, I'm sure of it!}

M. Mother's name: SuzAnn

N. Nicknames: Honey, Sweetheart, My Love, Darling, Boy Scout, Bryan Bear {my nicknames for him} + Bry, Bry Guy, Whitey

O. Overnight hospital stays: yes, I'm just not sure how many

P. Pet peeves: clutter, rude people

Q. Quote from a movie: {Bryan had a billion movie quotes memorized; quoting movies was "his thing" so I'll just pick one} "Forgiveness is between them and God. It's my job to arrange the meeting." Denzel Washington in Man on Fire

R. Right or left handed: left

S. Siblings: older sister Bethany, younger sister Emily, younger brother Joseph

T. Time you wake up: 6:45 a.m.

U. Underwear: 99% of the time

V. Vegetable you hate: none

W. What makes you run late: When he randomly decides to fry a pan of sausage at the last minute

X. X-rays you're had: chest and dental

Y. Yummy food that you make: pasta and all things Italian

Z. Zoo animal: iguana or komodo dragon

***

From every human being there rises a light that reaches straight to heaven, and when two souls that are destined to be together find each other, the streams of light flow together and a single brighter light goes forth from that united being.

~ Ba'al Shem Tov

***

Did you do one? Are you going to? Let me know, I would love to learn more about you!

The Greatest Show On Earth!

2011-09-27T22:22:00.000-07:00

Recently the circus was in town. Thomas, Isabelle and I went with my parents, Sarah, and Carson. It really is the greatest show on earth! I hadn't been to the circus since I was in elementary school, so it was a treat to go again, but this time with children of my own, who sat in their seats mesmerized the entire time.

The night began with meeting up for dinner at Cafe Rio, and then we met my dad at his work, parked, and took Trax over to the ~~Delta Center~~ Energy Solutions Arena. Thomas and Isabelle have never ridden Trax before, and Thomas is obsessed with trains {especially Thomas the Train, of course!} so riding the "train" downtown was extra exciting!

{Isabelle, Grandpa Tom & Thomas on Trax}

{Mom & Me}

{Silly Isabelle!}

Once we made it off the Trax and past the swarms of PETA protesters {and their fliers and banners and all that sort of paraphernalia} we enjoyed the greatest show on earth.

We refrained from buying the $12 cotton candy {yes, a cotton candy at the circus was $12} and the $10 single scoop snow cones {you read that right too} and we had a most wonderful time.

{AMAZING!}

{Sweethearts ~ Carson & Sarah}

{With The Boyfriend}

{Isabelle & Thomas loving the circus!}

{Circus Highlights}

Thank-you mom and dad for taking us to the circus! Thomas and Isabelle are so lucky to have you for Grandparents. You are always planning such fun and special things for our family! Our night at the circus was a memorable one, we had a blast!! xo

Secret of the Week

2011-09-25T02:46:00.000-07:00

{Post Secret}

On top of the armoire in my bedroom is a medium size box. Bryan and I have had this box for quite some time; it was bought with the purpose of holding all of our love letters, cards, notes, movie ticket stubs, pictures, receipts, anything special between he and I so our tokens of affection could be kept together.

When I read this secret on Post Secret tonight I was grateful to not be able to relate to it! When I read over the letters, cards, notes and what-not, I realize that there is nothing I didn't say to Bryan that I should have. Absolutely nothing. I'm grateful he "knew it all;" there is nothing I kept from him or should have said but didn't.

As I read over the multiple pages of love letters I have written him, I also realize that I have been way too hard on myself for my crusty attitude that day. I am over that. Most people are ornery when they're sick! My word, Bryan was sometimes ornery when he wasn't sick, and I don't hold that against him in the least! Was his attitude annoying and did it get old? Yes, but I loved him. I still do love him, very, very much.

I am so glad Bryan and I have our box of our special relationship memorabilia. He was so sweet to keep all the love notes I used to put inside his lunch everyday for work. I loved writing them, and he looked forward to reading them more than he did eating the lunch itself.

Wow.. I have thought of Bryan non-stop today. Tonight I got together with Emily and SuzAnn and we went shopping, to dinner, and then we saw Contagion. Over dinner we talked about Bryan a lot and told funny stories about him, making us laugh non-stop.

Bryan was the best. He still is the best, and just when I don't think it's possible, I truly do love him more and more each day.

xo

We Got Carded!

2011-09-21T21:59:00.000-07:00

After living in Farmington for what seems like, forever, the kids and I finally decided to get Davis County Library cards. Finally! Driving 45 minutes to go to our old library was not only totally inconvenient, but it resulted in a reading drought for me because I never felt like doing it. Making the drive that is. I strongly dislike leaving Davis County. Driving into even Bountiful is about as far south as I ever want to go; anywhere beyond that is such a pain!

{Those of you who live in Davis County can relate I'm sure, we're in our own little bubble up here and I never want to leave!}

Anyways, after showing a friendly librarian 2 valid forms of our proof of residency, the kids and I each got library cards! All the more books and DVD's we can check out!

Thomas, Isabelle and I love going to the library, so much, in fact, we go there 1-2 times a week.

The first time I went to the Farmington Library I got quite a kick out of it. First off, the librarian had no idea who Gary Zukav was, when I wanted to check out some of his books and asked where they were located. Secondly, they have sections of books on cow raising, horse raising, modern poultry raising {versus old school poultry raising, I guess}, you name it, they've got it. New Age books? Not so much.

The Kaysville Library is a lot of fun too. It's literally in a Utah Historical Building. Thomas and Isabelle call it "The Pioneer Library." Their kids DVD section is very minimal, but anything you would ever want is available on VHS! Awesome.

I think the Centerville Library is my favorite though. It has stained glass windows, and the kids section is really neat.

Another perk I like about the Davis County Libraries is that there is a 7 day grace period after an item is due. My library fine paying days are so over!!

{Thomas & Isabelle in front of the Kaysville Library}

So, there's my spiel on the libraries up here! My reading dry spell is over! With 3 library cards in the family there is never a shortage of books around the house. We pretty much have books about everything, except for modern poultry raising that is.

Whitesides Family Reunion

2011-09-19T22:23:00.000-07:00

{Saturday September 17, 2011}

{The Cousins}

On Saturday was the Whitesides Family Reunion at a really neat park in Kaysville. What fun it was!

We ate Kentucky Fried Chicken {Bryan's favorite}, mashed potatoes {Bryan's other favorite. He was the only person I have ever known to make them at 7:00 a.m. for breakfast!}, biscuits {Bryan's other favorite, he liked them doused in butter}, and lots of other yummy food, KFC style.

{You know, it's funny, Bryan had/still has? a KFC addiction. I refused to eat it with him, and I banned him from eating it, for obvious health reasons. But since he has passed I have had it twice this past month. I guess fried foods make me feel closer to my sweetheart!}

{With my fabulous sister-in-law Emily}

I'm sure Bryan was at his own family reunion on Saturday. Here's a list of reasons why:

We had Kentucky Fried Chicken {main reason}
I was there
His family was there
Several years ago it was Bryan's idea to hold a family reunion yearly in honor of his Grandma Whitesides
Emily and I talked a lot about Bryan while at the reunion, and as we were talking, she and I both noticed tons of dragonflies flying around

Yes, Bryan was there.

{Tom & Boyd}

Lovely Lily & Incredible Izzie making ginormous bubbles that looked like...

THIS!

{Bryan's cousin Ryan}

{Beautiful Bella!}

{Thomas table dancing?}

Sounds about right.

{Glamorous Emily}

{Tom. SuzAnn.Gayle}

Oh, and to top off a perfectly fun evening, Utah beat BYU in the Holy War.

Go Utah!!

:: THE END ::

Secret of the Week

2011-09-17T21:57:00.000-07:00

This is my favorite secret on Post Secret this week. This one especially hit home because of all the heartache I have been experiencing since my sweetheart Bryan passed away.

I do have to admit though, I have had a lot of clarity this last week. Emily and I have had some crazy long and deep talks about personal things in relation to Bryan, and I have also read a few books that have helped me understand death and the afterlife a lot better. In fact, the more I research, the more I come to the conclusion that there really is no death, only life.

I still have a lot of life on this earth to live, but I must say, I cannot wait to see My Bryan again, and I know I will. In fact, I truly believe he will be the first person I see.

"For death is no more than a turning of us over from time to eternity." ~ William Penn

Fall Festival

2011-09-16T21:25:00.000-07:00

Every September Isabelle's elementary school has a 'Fall Festival' put on by the PTA to raise money for the school.

What fun it was!

It was like a carnival, complete with cotton candy, bounce houses, train rides, hair feathers, face painting, a hula hoop contest AND the Jazz Dancers were even there to put on a show.

Such excitement for one evening!!

{Thomas going to town on his cotton candy!}

{Isabelle & BFF Zoe got matching hair feathers}

{Thomas never got worn out on the bounce houses!}

{He has more energy than the Energizer Bunny!}

{The ride on the Golden Spike train was the highlight!}

{Handsome little devil!}

It was such a fun night for the kids to run around and have a good time with their classmates! We even saw Cousin Bella there, who was helping serve food.

Living in Farmington is the best! It's so beautiful here, and something fun is always going on ~ we just love it!

:: Fall really is in the air! ::

{Especially at nighttime. I love this time of year! It's my absolute favorite!!}

Rock. Paper. Scissors.

2011-09-13T12:03:00.000-07:00

{Thomas with best buddy Leo}

Last week Thomas started his second year of preschool. He loves it! His teachers are terrific, already he has made some good little buddies, and he's learning a lot to be ready for kindergarten next fall.

At Thomas' new preschool he has show-and-tell everyday, goes on fieldtrips, and he even gets to eat lunch there!

How exciting is that!?!

{Thomas' first day or preschool project & name tag}

{Miss Diane & Thomas}

{Thomas with Miss Julie}

After the first day of preschool Thomas and I went with our good friends and neighbors, Jenny and Leo, to Maverick for Slurpee's {hey, we live in Farmington, our "treat" options are kind of limited...}

It was a good day! My little guy is growing up! With The Queen Bee and The Boyfriend both in school now, school is officially back in session and summer is so over!

Welcome Fall!

Secret of the Week

2011-09-11T01:46:00.000-07:00

This is exciting! Tonight I found not one, but two secrets on Post Secret that I really liked.

This first one put a smile on my face and made me laugh out loud. It instantaneously made made me think of Bryan. Funny, intelligent, witty, smart aleck Bryan.

Allow me to explain, without really explaining. 13 months ago I sat in on a deposition that Bryan had to give.

Long story.

Witnessing Bryan being deposed was highly entertaining. Bryan was {purposely} all over the map. He was {purposely} not making any sense. I had to try my hardest to not laugh out loud the entire time, and it was even more difficult trying to keep a strait face.

What a colossal waste of money it was for the person deposing him.

His deposition was an ongoing joke between us.

Especially the part about the flowers in the box.

It truly was awesome.

This second secret I just agree with, 100%.

Catch of the Day {Labor Day Weekend 2010}

2011-09-07T21:22:00.000-07:00

Last year over Labor Day weekend 2010, Bryan and I decided it would be fun to go up to his cabin, just the two of us.

No kids! No cell phones! No e-mail!

Just us + the great outdoors + all the fishing we wanted to do = HEAVEN

Of all the times we spent at the cabin, last Labor Day weekend was the most memorable. It was also the last time Bryan and I were up there together. We had both assumed we would be spending hundreds more weekends there together... who knew it would be our last?

We even left a DVD up there by mistake {The Talented Mr. Ripley} and I remember Bryan saying as we drove down the mountain: "Oh, we'll just get it next time we come up."

Next time never came.

I'm so sad about that. Next to the spot in front of Bryan's fireplace, the cabin was our most favorite place to spend time together.

Last year's trip to the cabin was our most memorable for a couple of reasons. Afterwards we sentimentally referred to it as The Bat Incident, but more than anything, it defined a major turning point in our relationship.

The first night we were there we grilled hamburgers on the deck {Bryan made the best hamburgers! Come to think of it, Bryan made the best everything in the kitchen. He was an incredible cook!} After we ate our hamburgers we sat in the two chairs in front of the fireplace, with a fire going. Bryan also made the best fires. He was an Eagle Scout! "Boy Scout" was one of my nicknames for him. He liked it when I called him that.

So there we were having a conversation in front of the fireplace when I looked up at the ceiling and said: "Oh look how cute! There's a bird here in the cabin with us!" Bryan slowly got up, grabbed a broom, started waving it at the "bird" and said: "That's not a bird, but if I tell you what it really is you'll freak out!" And that I did -- freak out. I dove under my blanket while the bat {which is essentially a flying rat with wings} flew around the cabin. It was so disgusting. Eventually it flew back up into the rafters in the roof. Still not cool. Needless to say, I did not sleep well that night, thanks to the bat. I even considered sleeping in the car but Bryan said "no" because it was too cold outside...

{Catch of the Day!}

It was on this trip that I caught my very first fish ever! I was so proud of myself, and Bryan was so proud of me he took a picture of the moment.

{With the love of my life}

While we were at the cabin Bryan and I talked a lot about our relationship. What was happening, where it was going, what our expectations were, etc. We were both ready for some clear definement.

The day we returned home from the cabin, that evening, Bryan and I went out to dinner with his family for Mexican food. I remember what Bryan wore {I have a really good memory}. He wore his plaid shorts and his brown Banana Republic polo shirt. I distinctly remember thinking that Bryan looked really good that night. He looked good always no matter what, he really did, but that night he looked exceptionally handsome. I remember I had butterflies in my stomach the whole night whenever I looked over at him during dinner. The thing is, even though Bryan is gone I still get butterflies in my stomach whenever I think about him! After knowing each other for 12 years the butterflies never went away.

I remember as we were sitting next to each other eating during dinner, Bryan leaned over to me and whispered in my ear:

"So, should we do it? Do you want to get engaged?"

Me: "Seriously?"

Bryan: "Yes."

Me: {after some careful thought and consideration for about 2 seconds} "Yes."

Bryan: "O.K. That's it then, we're {unofficially} engaged."

{The ring was to come later, but after that night Bryan no longer referred to me as his "girlfriend," he called me his fiancee and I loved being that to him!}

We finally had that definement in our relationship that we needed. We were no longer in limbo. The funny thing is, as soon as we started seeing each other again we never really talked about marriage, not really. It was just assumed by us both that we would get married someday. In fact, on our first date Bryan called me "Shannon Whitesides."

Did it scare me off? Obviously not.

Was it a little weird? No.

Did it make me blush? Y-E-S.

There was, and still is, nobody else on this earth I would rather take the last name of.

{Here is a pointless video of Bryan attempting to catch a fish on our trip. He thought he had one on the line so I started filming. Even though the video has no point, I love watching Bryan in it. How I love that man! Always have, always will... xoxo}

Celebrating Suzie!!

2011-09-03T22:21:00.000-07:00

{The Vintage Pearl}

Today is SuzAnn's birthday...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SUZANN!!

I can honestly say that SuzAnn is one of my best friends, and I am super lucky to have her in mine and my children's lives. She is "Grandma Suzie" to Isabelle and Thomas, and she is who I look up to and am inspired by the most. SuzAnn is who I hope to be like one day, and because she is such a wonderful person, today called for non-stop fun and celebration in honor of a truly amazing person!

Being that the weather was perfect today and the outdoor pools close after this weekend, today we decided to relax and lay by the pool. It was the best. Tom brought Subway for lunch, Isabelle, Lily and Thomas played in the swimming pool, and SuzAnn, Bella and I visited. It was 100% fun!

Tonight after the pool {and after showering the chlorine off!} we all met up for frozen yogurt, ate Kentucky Fried Chicken in honor of Bryan {it was his FAVORITE, and also his secret guilty pleasure} and then we went to visit Bryan at the cemetery.

I have no doubt that Bryan was with us today. SuzAnn agrees {so we must be right!} Today we just felt GOOD. Bryan was there today celebrating with us, I am sure of it. Bryan wouldn't miss his mom's birthday for anything, and to even further make his presence known he had a yellow dragonfly land on his mom's toe at the pool. Coincidence? I think not. It was Bryan's way of saying "hi" and letting us know that he was there.

***

At Bryan's funeral his three handsome nephews Taylor, Evan, and Alec sang the song You Are My Sunshine. Bryan was our sunshine! He always made us laugh, and he had a way about him that made everyone in his presence feel loved and special. With Bryan, you were always the center of his attention. He brought so much light, love and joy into people's lives. Bryan truly was like a bright ray of sunshine!

When I came across this you are my sunshine necklace at The Vintage Pearl, I knew it was meant for SuzAnn.

Happy Birthday SuzAnn! We all love you so much. You are the greatest!

xoxo,

Shannon, Bryan, Isabelle & Thomas

Secret of the Week

2011-08-28T20:52:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted a 'secret of the week' for the past 3 weeks or so because, to be honest, I couldn't relate to any of them {except for one, but by posting it a lot of drama would have ensued with you-know-who, and because I'm just not in the mood for any more drama right now, I opted to not post it.}

Anyways, this secret I really liked, and it made me think of Bryan.

There are two places that Bryan frequently referred to as heaven.

The first place was his family cabin. He loved going up there! He used to call it a little piece of heaven. It really was heavenly being there with Bryan. Peace, quiet, fishing, the smell of the outdoors, the fire going... the cabin was the best place in the world to be at with Bryan. He loved it. I loved it. Thomas and Isabelle loved it.

The second place Bryan referred to as heaven was our home. Bryan and I were homebodies. We just liked staying "in" and being home! We loved watching movies together, cooking dinner together and having long talks in front of the fireplace. Bryan would look around our house and say: it's just like our own little corner of heaven, isn't it?

I have read by some that we create our own version of heaven in our minds, based on our religious and cultural beliefs. I don't know if that's true or not, but I know I wouldn't mind one bit spending eternity with Bryan at his cabin with Reba McEntire and James Taylor playing from the CD player, or sitting forever in front of his fireplace talking for hours like we used to.

Both would be my perfect version of heaven, and I believe Bryan's too. As long as we're together, heaven could be anywhere.

I love you Bryan. I miss you constantly. I walk around with a huge hole in my heart all the time. I can't wait to see you again... you left too soon. Thomas and Isabelle talk about you all the time. They love you and miss you so much too! We all do! You are our sunshine. I love you always and forever... xoxo

Wipeout!

2011-08-24T10:32:00.000-07:00

The other day Thomas, Isabelle and cousin Lily spent not one... not two... but FIVE HOURS at the swimming pool. They discovered an indoor pool area that had 2 diving boards and an inflatable obstacle course, much like the one on the t.v. show Wipeout {minus the sucker punches and the tongue-and-cheek commentary}.

It was a LONG day of fun for the kids, which meant hours of visiting for me, SuzAnn and Emily. At the end of our day at the pool Bryan's wonderful father brought us all Cafe Rio take-out for dinner. It was a perfect day of swimming fun at the pool!

{Little Fish}

{Thomas getting ready to jump off the HIGH DIVE! }

{He's FEARLESS!}

{Isabelle trying very hard not to wipeout on the obstacle course!}

{Izzie made it to the end!}

{Go Thomas!}

{He made it! Yay!}

{Best Cousins ~ Isabelle & Lily}

The FIRST day of FIRST grade!

2011-08-22T14:29:00.000-07:00

Today was Isabelle Grace's FIRST day of FIRST grade!

Wanting to have the complete school experience, Isabelle insisted today on riding the bus to and from school, and she bought school lunch in the cafeteria {the school lunch was SO GOOD she declared as she stepped off the bus!}

First grade is going to be so much fun for Isabelle! She loves her teacher, has made some fun new friends {her BFF for the week is Izabella}, and she can't wait for P.E. tomorrow.

Exciting times ahead!

Isabelle wanted to wear her dragonfly necklace today {for Bryan}. I thought that was special. Bryan was SO looking forward to the kids' upcoming school year! The day we enrolled Isabelle in school was such an exciting day for us! I know Bryan was planning on being there today, to walk Isabelle to the bus stop on her first day of school... and somehow I think he was. I don't think Bryan would have missed Isabelle's first day of school for anything!

{Thomas & Isabelle walking to the bus stop}

{Isabelle waiting at the bus stop}

{Boarding the bus...}

{Bye Mommy! Bye Thomas!}

... and off my little girl goes to all day school!

It was a little strange having my favorite gal pal gone during the day, but it is also nice having my one-on-one time with Thomas ~ until he begins preschool in a couple of weeks.

I like that the bus stop is so close to our house. I am looking forward to walking Isabelle to the bus stop every morning, and waiting for her there in the afternoon after school, just like on Forrest Gump.

Isabelle's FIRST day of FIRST grade outfit:

Dress: The Children's Place

Sparkly Shoes: Target

Flower Headband: Gardner Village

Dragonfly Necklace: Gardner Village

Backpack: GAP kids

:: ISABELLE IS A CLASS ACT! ::